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event-contracts-perfection-eventsWINSTON-SALEM, NC– Starting in the Fall of 2013, all incoming college students are mandated to sign a contract which states that they will become famous by the time they’re 30-years-old or their degree will become nullified by the school.

“I did it.” said alumni David Gordon Green.

Incoming student Jessica Avacado said during her interview at the school, “It makes sense. If you’re not famous by the time you’re 30, kill yourself.”

One student protested stating that they don’t want to lose their degree because they chose to be a second-assistant cameraman.

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