HOLLYWOOD, CA– While the Screen Actors Guild Awards this year was a fashion show to remember, the true awards show to catch which aired at the exact same time was the Silly Ol’ Goose Awards. The SOG Awards ended up pulling over 10 millions viewers, while the SAG Awards ended up getting only one viewer from a studio apartment in Soho.
The nominees for the 2013 Silly Ol’ Goose Awards were Governor Mitt Romney for his silly stance on public education, silly goose and cannibal Rudy Eugene for eating someone’s face, silly ol’ actor/director Bob “Goose” Saget for making this face:,
Teletubbies producer and full time Silly Ol’ Goose Kenn Viselman for producing Oogieloves In The Big Balloon Adventure and the big winner of the night, Oscar award winning Silly Ol’ Goose Russell Crowe for his walrus-like interpretation of Javert in Les Miserables.
While Russell Crowe may not have received anything from the SAG Awards, he blew the competition out of the water at the Silly Ol’ Goose Awards with his completely silly lack of vocal skills and Ol’ Goosey lack of emotional presence in his performance. The Silly Ol’ Goose Crowe reportedly is entirely tone deaf saying that, “I didn’t get the memo that we were supposed to be singing. I just heard everybody else prolonging their words so I held my words for a long time too, while still holding on to the integrity of my silly goose monotone voice.” One panelist at the Silly Ol’ Goose Awards tipped their hat to Crowe for his immaculate portrayal of Javert’s Suicide. “He couldn’t have wailed any more like a Silly Ol’ Goose. Even the manner in which he fell off the bridge made me think I was literally watching a goose,” the panelist added, “In fact, if it wasn’t for the taco-shaped hat they dressed him in, I might not have believed that it wasn’t a goose or perhaps a flightless land-bird.”
Later that evening at an after party, Crowe drunkenly burped at one of our reporters, “Russell Crowe? Mores like a (hic-up) … More like Russell Goose!”