WINSTON-SALEM, NC– As much of the community has noticed, there is a new member of the family tree in UNCSA’s tree family. But this tree isn’t UNCSA’s biological tree baby, this tree baby was stolen from Wake Forest University. It all started last semester when school officials made the decision to chop down one of the two very large trees in the quad between the dorms. As soon as the tree was down, everybody immediately realized how awkward and off-balance the landscape really is.
One school official noted, “Well, shit… ” They then added, “Why can’t we have nice things?!”
The decision to steal a tree from Wake Forest happened when one UNCSA Board Member was advised by their therapist to take a look at the Wake Forest University campus and calmly try to convince themselves that they do work at a real University and that Wake Forest is no different. However, upon seeing the 24-hour on-campus Subway sandwich shop, they broke down, ripped out a tree and threw it in the back seat of their pale-yellow Ford Pinto.
“I think it makes for a nice addition to the campus.” The Board Member said while fighting back tears.