WINSTON-SALEM, NC– The UNCSA Campus Police sealed the deal today to spend $280,000 on a badass 2012 Cessna 172S Skyhawk Aircraft. The officers reported that the Dodge Charger wasn’t doing it for them and they wanted something that can sit comfortably at a badass speed like 150mph.
“We’ve been meaning to do this for while.” Read the banner attached to the tail of the aircraft.
However, even though it is an aircraft, the police plan to use it as a land-bound vehicle. One officer quoted, “After we got in it, we realized none of us can pilot an aircraft.” He then added, “We had to sell all the Dodge Chargers in order to purchase the plane, so our response time is going to be very slow. Y’know. ‘Cause we can’t fly a plane.”
All the streets on campus have been turned into one-way-streets, though which way has not yet been determined. Campus police said that it will most likely be determined by which way the plane is facing.
“After the regret of the purchase sank in, we immediately put the plane up on eBay with a starting bid of $1. We’re looking to invest in a boat.”