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WINSTON-SALEM, NC– In whats being called the biggest financial upset since the housing crisis, UNCSA purchased one million pounds of beef bouillon, which they mistook for one million pounds of gold bullion. At a press conference this morning, a spokesman for the school said that, “We plan to take legal action against Gina’s Bouillon Cubes for breach of contract.”

Gina’s released a statement saying, “It wasn’t a scam. It was an honest advertisement in Food Network Magazine. It’s not our fault that they didn’t know the difference between soup cubes and valuable transition metals.” They then added, “We don’t even have one million pounds of bouillon.”

The school issued the response statement, “We do not negotiate with terrorists.” Then added, “And it’s still a conservatory.”

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