WINSTON-SALEM, NC– Last night around 11:30PM, when one D&P student failed to swipe his One Card successfully for a meal exchange, he grew frustrated and reportedly cursed at the machine saying, “Learn to f**king read a card!”
It was then that the machine came to life as a 45-year-old Brooklyn man and said, “Alright look, kid. I’ve swiped over 200 meal exchanges tonight, 30 of which were garden burgers. Sorry I’m a little tired right now, and you’re gonna tell me ‘Learn to read a card.'”
The student tried in vain to get the machine to calm down, but the machine added, “Oh you want me to calm down? I just got a new screen today. Everybody smudged up on my screen ordering burgers, and fries, and chips and you’re gonna tell me ‘Learn to read a card.’ You think I like reading One Cards? Think it feels good being sliced by plastic? Hell no. You think I’m touch screen because it’s some advanced technology? Motherf**ker no. I have a sensitive screen and people just take advantage of it. That is a skin disorder. ‘Learn to read a card?’ Learn how to treat people, ’cause I don’t deserve this!”
The machine reportedly apologized for the outburst and want back to being an inanimate object shortly after.